DO YOU HAVE something you want to propose?
Having a valid case isn’t enough. To get a yes, you must first summon the courage to ask for what you want, need or deserve, and then present your ideas with timing, sensitivity and skill so your listener is motivated to give you the go ahead.
Shelley, an athletic friend who works as a law clerk in a Washington D.C. law firm, spent every noon hour jogging on the paths bordering the Smithsonian. She loved getting outside for the exercise, but didn’t enjoy having to change back into her professional clothes without the benefit of a shower. She approached the partners and proposed that a women’s locker room be installed, similar to the one provided for male employees. They turned her down flat, citing the expense, lack of space, and so on. Shelley called me and said, “Help?!”
THE FIRST THING I did was compliment her on not relinquishing her dream. Then, I recommended she use these Five Principles of Persuasion to make it come true.
1. Walk in with positive expectations. Have you ever approached someone with a suggestion while inside you were thinking, “This is a waste of time. They’ll never approve this.” If you don’t believe your idea stands a chance, how can they? Talk yourself into a state of optimism (“I know this is worthwhile”) so you can go in with the courage of your convictions. As Winston Churchill said, “Before convincing others, we ourselves must be convinced.”
2. Anticipate and voice their objections. Determine why they might turn you down, and then state their arguments first. If you don't preface your points with their objections, they won’t even be listening to you; they’ll be waiting for their turn to talk so they can tell you why your recommendation won’t work. If you predict they’ll protest with, “We don’t have the money for this in our budget,” then guess what the first words out of your mouth better be? “You may be thinking we don’t have the funds available, and if I can have your attention for the next ten minutes, I can show how this will save us this amount of money in the first three weeks of operation.”
3. Number and document each point. The easiest and quickest way to lend legitimacy to points is to number them. Enumerating evidence makes material sound like facts rather than opinion so it carries more weight. Furthermore, listeners can understand and remember what’s being said more easily because of the clear structure. As a professional speaker for more than 20 years, I’ve learned the most powerful way to get a message across is to follow this pattern: make a point, give an example; make a point, give an example. Audiences relate to and remember examples, which give real-life “proof” of the benefits of what you’re proposing.
4. Meet their needs and speak their language. Avoid using the word I, as in “I think a locker room will be welcomed by our employees.” People won’t do things for your reasons; they’ll do them for their own. Ask yourself what’s most important to the person you’re trying to persuade. Money, safety, reputation, status, power? Figure out how your proposal will benefit him or her and then address those advantages.
5. Motivate them to “try on” your ideas. Ralph Waldo Emerson realized, “To know how to suggest is the great art of teaching.” The same is true of persuasion. If you pressure people with logic and try to point out the wisdom of your arguments, they may turn you down simply because they don’t like reasoning forced down their throats. The goal is to Socratically engage them with questions and vivid stories so they get out of the passive, resistive mode and see what you’re saying. As soon as they picture what’s being proposed and mentally answer your questions, they stop crossing their mental arms and start imagining your idea as if it were a done deal.
Now, as Paul Harvey would say . . . “for the rest of the story.”
Shelley succeeded in getting the lockers approved the second time around because she did her homework. She contacted a national fitness association and obtained data regarding the financial advantage of encouraging employees to exercise during their lunch hour. She located other corporations who were glad to talk about the health and workmen’s compensation benefits they’d reaped from installing changing/shower facilities for all staff members. Shelley neutralized the partners’ objections about lack of space by demonstrating the advantage of converting a little-used conference room.
When Shelley called to share her good news, she added a variation of Yogi Berra’s often-quoted line with this quip, “Looks like it’s not over ‘til the FIT lady sings.”
BRAVO! Next time you want something, invest the time to follow these Five Principles of Persuasion, and you can increase the likelihood of getting a green light to your proposal or project.
Sam Horn is president of Sam Horn Consulting-Keynotes-Creative
(since 1981) Author of "Tongue Fu!" "ConZentrate,"
"What's Holding You Back?" "Take The Bully By The Horns,"
and "Tongue Fu At School!." Sam also is a corporate keynote
speaker and presenter at major conferences on how individuals and organizations
can communicate more cooperatively. She is also a 12-time Emcee of world-renowned
Maui Writers Conference, where she works with authors to get their books
out of their heads and into readers' hands.
Visit Sam Horn’s site http://www.SamHorn.com
to learn more about what she dynamically does. California office: 805-528-4351
Virginia office: 703-456-0870
© Copyright - Sam Horn 2004 - All rights reserved!
IT MAKES SENSE to understand at least a little bit of neurology when it comes to persuasion. After all, it is the neurology of the other person that you are attempting to influence when applying the patterns of persuasion via your communication.
This short article will introduce some basic areas of neurology as a pointer for those who wish to learn more.
As a Therapist working from an NLP perspective, who has a background firmly rooted in clinical neurology and neurosurgery, I have found an understanding of neurology a great asset when it comes to the application of the NLP models.
Take the frontal lobes, for example. When scanned, it was found that when people look at a familiar face, the left frontal lobe is more active. When looking at the unfamiliar - the right side lights up as more active. This is an important difference, especially when we consider the other functions of the frontal lobes.
These lobes were the favourite slice and dice region of the early lobotomists. A nip and a tuck here and there renders the crazy guy into one that is nice and compliant. He's still crazy. But, at least, he doesn't cause a fuss. He ceases complaining, his bored agitation decreases. His intellect remains relatively unaffected, but his motivation decreases. This is the dopey guy, unaffected by the environment around him, unable to make any reasonable decision.
The frontal lobes are critically involved in reasoning, motivation, sense of time and humour. Broadly speaking, the left lobe is happier than the one on the right. And, yet, all we need to activate this left frontal lobe - is a familiar face!
To paraphrase Gregory Bateson, “if you ever send a guy to carry news of change, you better send a familiar one.”
Meanwhile, that famous region of the brain about which so much has been written, the amygdala, sits comfortably within the limbic system, sending out messages of emotion. It is the amygdala that is critically involved with such emotions as anxiety, panic, love and sexual arousal. Nearby lies the hypothalamus, a little region that is involved with sexual drive, and appetite, amongst others. And near that is the memory centre, the hippocampus.
Add into this mix the olfactory bulb, the bit involved with smell. And we have the perfect recipe for emotional bliss, depending on what information you put into it.
PICTURE THIS - the nose picks up a smell from long ago, reminiscent of a lovely time, the stuff of nostalgia. The information from the olfactory bulb floods out sending messages to the hippocampus, evoking the memory attached to this smell. Almost simultaneously, messages reach the amygdala and emotions flood out from this region whilst the hypothalamus scans for sexual or dietary signals.
THIS NOSTALGIA is that of the familiar. Anchor this response to yourself and you are sure to fire up that left frontal lobe.
In a few weeks, I have a difficult manager to go and see. As yet, I am unknown to her in every capacity. But a little information about her is known to me - I know her favourite type of biscuit! And you can be damned sure she's going to receive them before our meeting. I'll take them to her myself - I'll make eye contact and smile a lot - those amygdalas sure do like that, they are designed to respond to exactly this kind of stimulation.
In our experimental hypnosis group, we found that the smell that was most evocative of all was that of Matey bubblebath***. When we presented the bottle to subjects their faces lit up. After all, for many it takes them back to warm, soft fun times. The Matey bottle is that of the little guy, "Matey" he wears a blue suit and has a big smile. These are important. He's your "mate" and smiles. Soap and detergent manufacturers have been adding blue specks to their products for years - people seem to associate the blue with cleaning power - maybe is because of blue oceans or clear blue skies. But who knows. It's an unusual gift, but it sure lights up the right neurological centres.
The right frontal lobe is an important centre for humour. Damage to it greatly limits the person's ability to appreciate the intricacies of a good joke. A joke and punch line used in a humour study at The Baycrest Centre for Geriatric Care at the University of Toronto was used to test right frontal lobe damaged patients:
A teenager is being interviewed for a summer job.
"You'll get 50 dollars a week to start off", says his boss. "Then after a month you'll get a raise to 75 dollars a week."
Punch Line Selection:
*…"I'd like to take the job. When can I start?"
(Straight-forward logical choice - no fun)
*…"That's great! I'll come back in a month."
(Correct funny choice and the original punch line)
"Hey boss, your nose is too big for your face!" (Slapstick ending – patients with right frontal damage are most likely to choose this ending)
HUMOR has long been used as a teaching aid. It lights up the right frontal lobe which is heavily involved in the integration of information from all over the brain - in getting to a congruent - "yes!" This is an important consideration!
The bored brain rapidly becomes disinterested and begins to wander off into realms far removed from the subjects on offer. At least one of these realms might well be, "get me out of here and to somewhere more interesting than this guy" - not a good scenario for when you are giving a presentation designed to persuade.
Applied and clinical neurology may not be the subject of choice for many influencers but in my view is well worth considering for those wishing to learn more about the mechanisms of influence.
*** “Matey bubblebath” is the stuff of legends; it even has its own website: www.matey.co.uk I remember it well from my own childhood in the 80`s, during which time it underwent a major TV advertising campaign. Simply put, no child's bath time was complete without a bottle of “matey.” In the UK, "mate" is slang for `friend. ` And "matey" is Navy slang for `friend`.
Andrew T. Austin is a Master Practitioner of NLP and Clinical Hypnotherapist, with a background in Clinical Neurology and Neurosurgery. He lives in Southampton, UK.
There are many articles on similar subjects on Brain, Mind and Language available at Andrew Austin’s website. Go; take a peek into the influential mind. http://www.23NLPeople.com
© Copyright - Andrew T. Austin 2004 - All rights reserved!