In Ireland, we have this phrase known as the ‘gift of the gab’. It refers to a person who has a way with words that allows them to be effective in communicating and influencing others. Now, one of the best understandings we can get into persuasion and influence lies in our ability to model the successful sales people. There are various ways to do that. For example, we can do it from an NLP perspective or from a Psychological Perspective. When we do it from a Psychological perspective we can gain an insight into the main principles involved in the persuasive process. When we do it from a NLP Perspective we can gain an insight into how our language actually affects the brain and the thoughts and feelings of the other person. So let’s explore how we can combine these two approaches.
Firstly, Cialdini’s six laws of Influence are the most well known and well regarded principles of persuasion. There is the law of RECIPROCITY which suggest that people are more likely to be persuaded to do something for someone who has done something for them. The law of COMMITMENT suggest that people are more likely to do something when they have made a smaller commitment towards a smaller task already. The law of LIKING says that we are more persuadable by someone we like. The law of AUTHORITY explains we are more persuadable by someone who we deem to be in a position of authority or expertise. The law of SCARCITY tells us that we are more likely to want something and be persuaded about something if it harder for us to get or obtain. The law of SOCIAL PROOF denotes that we are more likely to be persuaded to do something or buy something that we find out others are buying or doing.
These six laws summarise much of the research conducted in the factors of persuasion. Other Psychological research shows that there are two main ways to influence a person: Through the Central Route (when people are thinking clearly and logically about something) and the Peripheral Route (when people are distracted and not really thinking about anything but are purely exposed to the idea). The best way to persuade someone processing through the Central route is to make a clever, well thought out argument. The best way to persuade someone through the Peripheral route is to link positive feelings to the idea. An example of Central route persuasion is when a car dealership gives you lots of facts and figures and details about the car. An example of Peripheral route persuasion is an ad on the television in which a celebrity drinks coke.
The NLP Perspective explores how people can use language to create ideas in people’s minds and to affect how people feel. The practise of anchoring allows you to link positive feelings with a product or service. You can build a positive state of desire by describing something the person wants vividly and as you get the response you can then point to a particular place or in some cases touch them on the shoulder. That way, whenever you point that way or touch the arm that way again they will enter into the state of desire. You can then show the product to them.
The practise of Calibrating will allow you to notice more about what the person is really thinking. You can notice where they look and what words they use when they describe something they want or desire and you can point to that place and use back those words to them to retrigger the same feelings. Remember as John LaValle and Richard always told me, the person will give you all the information you need to know when you are open enough to pay attention to it. Listen to the words they literally use and you’ll understand more about what images they are making inside their head and what they are saying to themselves. This is about really listening and really observing.
The Language Patterns are another example of using NLP in persuasion. You can use specifying questions to elicit from the person quality information about what exactly you want to know. You can also use indirect hypnotic language patterns which include Embedded Commands (placing a command which is marked out in the middle of a sentence)… e.g. You can MASTER USING EMBEDDED COMMANDS NOW!!! There are also Truisms (which are true statements that you use to gain agreement from people)… e.g. You are reading this sentence right now. There are Presuppositions… probably the most powerful persuasion language patterns. Presuppositions are when you presuppose something is true in a sentence when you are making different point… e.g. Before I reveal to you why so many people regard me as excellent at using presuppositions easily I want to give you an example of what happens when you put a few of them in a sentence.
So, with just some of these examples of how NLP and Psychology have taught us much about the persuasion process, how can we integrate both approaches and improve our ability to influence others. Very simply. You can use anchoring to bring about positive and happy states in people. Making them feel good and associating it to you will help you effectively use the principle of LIKING. If you can talk about how they think about an Expert you can anchor that feeling of AUTHORITY to yourself also. You can also use lots of Truisms and it will give the illusion that you know an awful lot about something. (because you are constantly saying things they automatically agree with).
You can Presuppose that something is unique or scarce and thus use the SCARCITY principle. Also you can Presuppose that everybody else is doing it or buying it which takes care of the SOCIAL PROOF law. Creating good feelings in a person is like giving them a gift and the law of RECIPROCATION will make them more likely to give back by being easier to persuade for you. Lastly, the use of Truisms will build up the COMMITMENT factor as the more you use them the more the other person will be agreeing with you and commit to the fact that you ‘must’ be making sense (This is also known as the ‘YES,YES set’ in Sales which suggests that when people are in the habit of saying yes and committing their agreement to what your saying they are more likely to buy everything else you say afterwards).
Calibrating and asking the right questions can give you a distinct advantage when it comes to building a credible argument to influence people processing through the Central route. At the same time a good use of anchoring and using Embedded Commands can best work effectively with people processing through the Peripheral route. There is so much more that can be possible when you understand the Psychological and NLP perspectives on persuasion. I hope that I have given you at least a good taste of how you can further improve your own ‘gift of the gab’!!!!
Owen Fitzpatrick is a Licensed Master Trainer in NLP and a qualified Psychologist. He is co-founder of the Irish Institute of NLP and has taught NLP in Ireland, Scotland, England, Europe, India and America. The Irish Institute hold NLP courses regularly and will be hosting and co-presenting two special seminars on Advanced NLP Skills and Advanced Persuasion Secrets with John La Valle this November in Ireland. Check out http://www.nlp.ie for further details!!!
© Copyright - Owen Fitzpatrick 2004 - All rights reserved!
“If you have zest and enthusiasm you attract zest and enthusiasm.
Life does give back in kind.” Norman Vincent Peale
We live awash in a sea of persuasion. It surrounds us in the way that water surrounds a fish, and is as necessary part of everyday social functioning.
The mother persuades her child to dress for school in the morning. The architect persuades her client to adopt a radical new design. The author persuades you, the reader, to turn the page maybe hundreds of times. Persuasion is so intrinsically tied into the idea of communication that it cannot properly be separated from it.
To live successfully in the world, we have to communicate as well as we are able. We communicate our needs, our wants and our desires. And to do this effectively we need to be persuasive.
“The great accomplishments of man have resulted from the transmission of ideas of enthusiasm.” Thomas J. Watson
I want to convince you that one of the most enduring qualities of persuasive communication is enthusiasm. I want to look at how enthusiasm is effectively communicated and I want you to consider now how enthusiasm can become a more obvious element of your communication.
Enthusiasm first appeared in English in 1603 with the meaning “possession by a god.” The source of the word is the Greek enthousiasmos, which ultimately comes from the adjective entheos, “having the god within”. Enthusiasm clearly has every day connotations of being “inspired” or “excited”. Enthusiasm is a good feeling! I would lay money that most people if required to do a particular task, would (if they knew that they could) choose to it with enthusiasm.
Read this paragraph and then try the following. Close your eyes, go inside and just pay attention. Think of a task that has neutral connotations. Something you probably should do, but you can’t honestly say you are fired up by it. If you are anything like me, that shouldn’t be too hard! Now, draw your attention to the quality of enthusiasm, and notice how you would feel having introduced the quality of enthusiasm to this task.
Doesn’t that feel better! People like enthusiasm. They like feeling enthusiastic, and they like people to feel enthusiastic around them.
“Enthusiasm glows, radiates, permeates and immediately captures
everyone's interest.”
Paul J. Meyer
Enthusiasm affects and infects communication in all directions. If you are explaining something to someone and they start to get enthusiastic about your ideas, then wow don’t you start to feel good! Hey, you probably even decide that you really like that person. Here is a person who understands the important things, just like you!
This is the real key to the NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) concept of rapport. Don’t worry about consciously mirroring and matching breathing, posture, gesture, etc. When you have rapport all that follows. Simply share enthusiasm. Bill Gates has said, “What I do best is share my enthusiasm”. Now, it could be argued that what he does best is make very large sums of money, but if he attributes that, at least in part, to sharing enthusiasm, who am I to argue?
“Catch on fire with enthusiasm and people will come from miles
to watch you burn.”
John Wesley
Conversely, your enthusiasm is infectious. People want to be around people who make them feel good. We recognise, at a deep level, that we perform better and appreciate life more fully when we feel enthusiastic (just look back at the origins of the word). Another NLP concept is that of pacing and then leading. Pacing involves matching the other person’s state in order to achieve rapport. From that point, you can alter your state in order to lead them into a different state. With enthusiasm, you don’t have to pace, because people want to follow!
So how do you “do” enthusiasm? As ever, Dale Carnegie, the author of “Win Friends and Influence People”, had it.
“Act enthusiastic and you become enthusiastic.”
Dale Carnegie
Feeling enthusiastic is inseparable from the actions of being enthusiastic. The Jesuits had a maxim that if you sit in the position of prayer, you will start to feel like praying. By simply approaching a task, or an individual, or any aspect of our life with enthusiasm, we become enthusiastic. When you think of doing something, don’t just see yourself doing it. Be in it, in all its glory. See the sights, hear the sounds and smell the smells. Savour them. To be enthusiastic is to be deeply and passionately interested, so choose to be interested in what someone is trying to tell you. Be intensely curious about what they wish to communicate and your passion too will emerge. But most of all, be always aware that not just life itself, but the opportunity we have to experience life, is a wonder beyond wonder. And you will find that people want to follow.
Adam Sargant is an NLP practitioner, hypnotherapist and coach from
the UK with a broad range of interests reflected in the following websites
he maintains: -
http://www.trance-formation.co.uk
http://www.hypnosisaudiocds.com
http://www.weightlosscoaching.co.uk
http://www.deep-mind.com
http://www.cross-stitch-pattern.com
© Copyright - Adam Sargant 2004 - All rights reserved!