Why Why
By: John G. Johnson
"if you know the reason why, you can endure any-how!"
Nietzsche
BECAUSE – you have a choice. There are those that say, “You can’t, and don’t ever ask yourself ‘why.’ The answers you get serve no purpose, and they are bad…blah, blah, blah.” That is false. Because a question requires a response (in certain situations not responding is also a response). In Metaphorical language, a question creates a hole that must be filled - with something. And whatever you fill the hole with is up to you. In other words, asking ‘why’ opens up the window of opportunity, giving you a palate of choices you can choose from.
When you ask questions beginning with “Why” oftentimes
the answers begin with that famous word ‘because.’ For
example:
“WHY are you reading this article?...BECAUSE...”
“WHY do you have a job?...(assuming you do) BECAUSE...”
Etc.
This “why because” question and response mechanism creates a loop, a circular reasoning that spins with such an incredible force that it creates a charge - positive or negative. This charge ignites and instills within us emotional states, feelings, and beliefs which can strengthening or weaken our self-image, our existing beliefs, and/or our ability to efficiently motivate ourselves in a useful direction.
To have an abundance of opportunities in your life, creativity is a prerequisite. Furthermore, it is a key ingredient that allows you to use “why” questions to your advantage. Let’s look at this example: WHY do I wake up late every morning?
(Version A)
BECAUSE:
1-You are lazy.
2-You are weak.
3-You have no ambition.
Whether the question relates to you, or not, notice your experience after reading (because) version A’s response.
Asking the same question again, pay attention to your experience after reading (because) version B’s responses.
(Version B)
BECAUSE:
1-I haven’t yet taken advantage of time management. I need to manage my
time efficiently so I can have enough energy to have a productive day.
2-I haven’t yet found a motivator. And when I do find that powerful
motivator I can look forward to every morning, it will be so easy to rise, no
matter what.
3- I’m not the owner for the place I work. Hmmm…What if I owned
my business? Maybe I ought to look into being my own boss. Hmmm….I like
that picture in my mind. And I like the feelings.
Which of the examples above do you think will have a positive and progressive impact on an individual? He/she can take version A and allow it to be a part of their identity or they can take version B and do the same. The choice is theirs!
To recap, asking “why” questions, combined with ones creativity and heightened senses, give you alternatives that you can use to your benefit.
Where in your life (personal, social, career) have you asked yourself “why,” only to receive useless answers, beginning with ‘because?’ Take this/that experience, or another (it’s up to you), AND now find positive answers that you can use to take back control.
Where else in your life can you apply this…“why?” And why can it be about using the appropriate feelings to get the upper hand – creatively?
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Enhancement™ workshop
WHEN: April 1st and 2nd 2006!
WHERE: New York City!
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© Copyright - John G. Johnson
2006 - All rights reserved!
Thoughts Are Things
By: Dena Moscola, C.Ht.
Did you ever feel out of control? I believe everyone at some point feels out
of control on some level. This is especially true for many when it comes to
eating. A perfect example is when you finish a meal or a snack and say to yourself,
“I can’t believe I ate all of that!! Why did I do it?” This
shows how you unconsciously make the wrong choice and then criticize yourself
for it. It is an endless battle. This is why change is so difficult at times.
Often, the change needs to take place on a deeper level to be most effective.
This can only happen at a rate you are comfortable with. Awareness is the first
step. Being aware that it is time to convert the negative unconscious thoughts
over to more positive, productive thoughts is the beginning of the process.
The next step is to move away from the reason and towards the positive solution
in order to bring the fastest, most productive, long-term results.
Our unconscious mind has a tendency to move in the direction of its most dominant thought, whatever that thought may be. Good, bad or indifferent, what we focus on, we will move towards. Think about the last time you got excited about something. Chances are it was on your mind often. When you thought about it, you got excited! Whatever you were doing became easier or more enjoyable because you felt good.
Now take a moment and think about a time when you were worried, upset or angry. How did you feel? Happy? Of course not. The negative energy from the thought led you to feel unhappy or less comfortable. You moved in the direction of the negative thought. Respecting the fact that there is a time for all emotions, even negative ones, it is most helpful to remind yourself that the amount of time you hold onto negative thoughts and feelings will determine how you move through situations. Your feelings, caused by your thoughts, influence your actions. So, it is up to you. You ARE in control of your thoughts. The challenge comes when your emotions become so dominant – because you are focusing on them so heavily - that it clouds your logical thinking and then you feel out of control. That is AN ILLUSION! Those thoughts will create feelings that will be influencing your actions. Why? Because we move in the directions of our most dominant thoughts. So, the solution becomes paying attention to your thoughts and consciously deciding when to let go of the negative ones to create positive ones and feel better. Then you can move forward easier and faster.
Did you ever get stuck in unexpected traffic that caused you to be late? What were your thoughts while being delayed? Were you extremely tense from the frustration of being out of control? Did you worry about what would happen if you were late? Were you obsessively concerned those who were waiting for you? Did you feel a sense of failure or inadequacy because you need to be punctual? If you said yes to any of the above, you were going overboard with negative feelings, and that only causes you to feel worse. If you said no to the above, you most likely experienced a feeling of disappointment for the unexpected delay and a compassion for those waiting for you, but you accepted the fact that these things happen sometimes. You knew you would handle the situation as best as you could once you got there, because that was realistic. That “realistic” choice was also the most productive.
I reflect back to a time I got stuck in sudden traffic that turned the freeway
into a parking lot for 2 hours. Instead of worrying about the meeting I was
late for, since I couldn’t do anything about it, I CHOSE a different thought.
This was before cell phones, so calling the people who were waiting for me was
not an option. Fortunately, I had my briefcase with me, so I did paperwork.
Ever since then, I carry some extra work or reading material, in preparation
for unexpected delays. Since we now have cell phones, you can now use these
times as an opportunity to return phone calls or check emails. Be productive.
Get your mind off of being frustrated by a situation over which you have no
control by taking control of your thoughts. Ask yourself the following simple
questions:
* What can I do while I wait that will benefit me?
* What can I think about that will help me relax?
Simple and elementary. This is why we often ignore these choices. It’s too simple! But it works. And the reward is worth it. Be creative. Be prepared. Be productive. If you can practice this principle on a daily basis, you will create a very strong habit that will NATRUALLY kick in when more challenging times surface unexpectedly. You will find, you are able to more easily take control of your thoughts, which will influence your feelings and allow you to then react more calmly and productively during stressful times. Ask yourself – how can I change my thoughts to start working more for me, instead of against me? The choice is yours! GO FOR IT!
Moscola, C.S.M.C., C.Ht, is the Founding Director of Resolutions.
Established in 1994, Resolutions has grown to become an international coaching
and training company dedicated to sharpening leadership and employee performances
for higher productivity. Starting as a Motivational Coach & Speaker on advanced
personal development, Dena now spends her time serving organizations of all
sizes to assist in executive coaching, leadership development, conflict management,
coaching trainings and more. Dena is a member of the International Coaching
Federation, The International Association for Counselors and Therapists and
an author of several books and CD programs. She holds numerous coaching and
consulting certifications to assist in maximizing people’s abilities to
best handle the challenges of today and tomorrow. To learn more visit: www.resolutionsplus.com