Whether you are aware of them, or not, whether you perceive them as useful,
or not, beliefs exert a tremendous amount of force upon our lives. They shape
and influence our behaviors, dictating how we live.
Thinking of the beliefs you are conscious of as things - you are believing – does several things: It changes them from a nominalization (noun) into a verb, thereby allowing you to experience and realize that what you are believing isn’t static – it has movement. And as such can be altered, strengthened or weakened
Information, be it: resources, personal metaphors/meanings, emotions, images, sounds, etc. contained in our memories (past experience-s) and/or in our future plans (hopes and dreams) cyclically interact with our reigning beliefs to strengthen them. For example, an athlete with a healthy, successful history of winning in his or her chosen sport will most likely have a current belief (believing) co-operating with their illustrious past. This combination acts as an additive, aiding this athlete in winning their next competitive event. Seven-time Tour De France winner Lance Armstrong comes to mind.
This looping effect is also true for someone without an enriched past, but has a compelling and attractive future collaborating with their present beliefs (believing). The phrase, “you have a bright and healthy future in front you” comes to mind.
The reverse is also valid; elements contained either in our past and/or in our future can weaken our beliefs. For example, a person can possess a firm belief, believing that they can be an incredible public-speaker. However, if they allow what they perceive as negative and unhealthy images, sounds, emotions, etc. from their past and/or future to constantly interfere with what they are believing, they will have difficulty making their goal a reality. In short, if a belief and its support contradict each other the belief short-circuits itself.
To strengthen beliefs and their support various techniques abound. One such technique is reframing. Simply put, reframing is taking what is interpreted as a negative experience and looking at it from an empowering point of view. This technique also aids in transforming dis-empowering emotions into useful (use fuel) ones.
This reminds me of the skilled boxer who had a string of successful bouts. He eventually lost one of his fights. Instead of looking at this experience as a true loss, this swift pugilist saw at it as - an opportunity to further learn and to further improve – upon his technique for subsequent matches – which he eventually won. In short, this boxer was mentally agile to reframe his ring experiences and use them to fortify his beliefs for future fights. The Greatest of all time comes to mind.
Reframing may be used in any type of interpersonal communication and relationships,
i.e. sales and customer service couples and friend’s relationships, etc.
In sales clients sometimes get in their own way of something that is good for
them because of an unpleasant past sales experience. Reframing the client’s
past experiences also assists in freeing the positive emotions that are then
used to procure a win/win sale.
© Copyright - John G. Johnson 2005 - All rights reserved!
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Imagine discovering a way to get rid of your fears in a quick and painless manner.
In fact it can even become fun!
Did you know only two of all the fears you have are innate: The fear of falling and the fear of loud noises. Most of your fears were learned in early childhood and then in later life under stressful conditions.
Traditional therapeutic approaches would probably have you trying to figure out where your fear originally came from. Maybe they'd have you digging around in your childhood memories, recalling times you ate the next-door neighbors purple Tulips. This type of approach tends to associate the client into reliving unpleasantness and can take a long time to achieve useful results. Personally I think this style is way out of date and bordering on torture.
You'll probably be glad to know we're not going to be doing anything like that. The truth is you can easily and quickly undo the learnings that created specific fears and change your responses to something much more useful.
So just how do fearful feelings occur then? Well let’s use a common example: Fred wants a raise and he's wanted to ask his boss for months. Finally he decides to go and ask. BUT when he starts the walk down the corridor he starts to feel certain sensations in his body: weird stomach feelings, his breathing is constricted, slight sweating on parts of his body. His vision is affected. Fred decides to turn back and then sits down feeling slightly annoyed with himself.
His body started producing 'fear chemicals.' What happened?
"Well it was because he defied his Dad one time when he was four. Let's explore those forgotten memories...."
NO! NO! NO! Let's do something much smarter and definitely more fun.
Hey Fred come over here I want to show you something really cool! O' come on, pick your lip up.
You know how before you got up to go and ask the boss for a raise, you felt OK right? So, between the time you got up and started walking something happened? Something triggered those feelings in you. Here's a fact for you: You either made a picture in your head or talked to yourself in a way that created those fearful sensations and that happened at an unconscious level out of your awareness.
"OK Colin that might be true but so what, what's your point?"
Well the point is by changing the internal sounds, pictures and voices in your head you can begin to gain control of your emotions.
"Fair enough but how can I do that so when I'm in a similar situation I automatically make useful pictures, sounds and voices in my head so I remain in a resourceful state?"
Good question, here's just one way you can achieve the results you want using a simple and powerful tool from the field of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP)
=== Soothing Movie Music ===
1: Think of a situation where you feel fear.
2: Dissociate: See yourself in the situation like you would a movie with you in it.
3: Imagine running the memory from the END of the fearful situation, BACKWARDS to the START. Do this very fast in less then 1 second!
4: Think of some music that makes you feel the opposite of fear. For example soothing classical music makes you feel relaxed. Perhaps certain rock or dance music makes you feel energised/courageous etc.
5: Now hear the music, nice and loud, inside your mind whilst looking at yourself going through the situation from START to END.
6: Break state. Now think of the situation you choose in Step 1 and notice how your fearful feelings have diminished.
7: What will you see or hear just before you want this new feeling to set in?
Colin G Smith is a licensed Master
Practioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and author of
'The NLP ToolBox', a personal development book that enables
the reader to master any area of their life with amazing speed. Complete information
on Colin G Smith's books are available at his website, including a FREE personal
development eBook. www.nlptoolbox.com
© Copyright - Colin G. Smith 2005 - All rights reserved!