As I first think about the word persuasion and what it means to me I am flooded with thoughts and ideas. There is so much to think about because the context in which persuasion is used is unlimited. Each context is created by our interaction with other people whether our interaction is in person or via any kind of media (print, video, audio) or any combination of them.
I would normally, at this point, insert the definition of the word “persuasion” from any dictionary. I would also include the definition of the word “manipulate”. But since I really want to have you involved in learning more, I’ll leave looking up those words for yourself, if you’re interested.
Interestingly to me the dictionary and thesaurus don’t really connect the two words. To me both of these words convey a similar desire or purpose. Though it seems that the authors of dictionaries seem to convey that the word manipulate is somewhat negative and to be used for one’ advantage, whereas the word persuade is “just” to nicely have people change their minds because of using words or actions. Well guess what... in my book, having people change their minds one way or another, call it what you like, is the reason for most interaction between people.
It’s like the old joke - Why do men.... well I think I better not go there, I am sure that some people will be “up in arms” already!
Well, just sit back and relax and let me finish, before you respond! Just think about what your day has been like so far... yes today... No, it doesn’t matter if it’s very early in the day or very late. Think about any discussion or interaction that you may have had, if you’re reading this early and you live alone—turn on a news program for a moment. Think about what the purpose is of “the interaction” in question. Either you or another person was influenced (persuaded or manipulated) in a way that either elicited an emotion, some type of response or action because of it.
You do know a kiss, a hug or even a good handshake could have been your choice to think about. How is it that some people think about things that elicit a negative response instead of a positive response? Perhaps its better we leave that for another newsletter...
Regardless of what you thought in the past every interaction contains a bit of persuasion or manipulation. We are all salesmen! That’s neither good nor bad – it just is. Now with that in mind take a look into your future and notice for yourself how you can make the most of every moment. Remember that when you make someone else feel good they are more likely to be receptive to you. Hmmmm... Just think of the possibilities... (For the men out there that means be nice to your significant other, the women already get it, now it’s your turn)
Why do you think salesmen know so many jokes? Salesmen don’t sit up at night and read the dictionary but they probably do have very active minds and are flooded with thoughts and ideas.
Bob Hatem is a Society of Neuro-Linguistic Programming
(tm) Licensed NLP Trainer. In addition to years of training in NLP he
earned a BA in Community and Human Services. He utilizes his skills in
both private and corporate settings with a special fondness for working
with people around critical health issues. You can contact Bob Hatem at:
metah@optonline.net
© Bob Hatem 2005 - All rights reserved!
The Essence of Leadership
By: Stever Robbins
Q: As the author of this column, I receive a number of questions each month on the topic of leadership. Manu asks how young men and women in India can be taught to think about leadership. A pharmacy director in the U.S. is having difficulty firing up a small number of workers who are not engaged in their work. Linda wants tips on being more decisive. An executive leading a cross-functional team asks: "How can I motivate them to stay committed to the team and focused on our goals when they have their day-to-day work responsibilities?"
The answers to these questions begin with the very basics. What is the definition of leadership?
A: In my experience, "business leadership" is often associated with a CEO of a company who made a lot of money and got rich in the process. Yet when clients tell me their company needs leadership, impressive job titles and large salaries aren't what they're after.
We say, "So-and-so is a born leader." No such thing. Leadership
is a relationship between a person and a group plus the skills to guide
the group to success. As with any relationship, success depends on both
parties. One group's stellar leader may fail utterly when leading another
group. The lack of competent leadership is the number one complaint I
hear from non-CEOs.
Rather than just study leaders (thousands of books on leadership cover
that ground), I've asked hundreds of people who they follow and why. They
say leadership is emotional; it's about inspiration, motivation, and connection.
Unlike management, it doesn't lend itself to systems, structure, and traditional
classroom teaching. What inspires people to follow is surprisingly consistent,
and surprisingly simple. But be forewarned: Simple doesn't mean easy!
Establishing the leadership relationship
Call it "vision," or "mission," but it all boils down to one thing: First and foremost, people look to leaders for direction. Only by knowing their organization's direction can people apply themselves to achieve their goals. It needn't be formally stated; the leader's actions and decisions convey the direction to the company. The direction needs to pervade every decision and conversation within the company, and it's the leader who makes that happen. Providing direction for others is a key to creating a leadership relationship.
First and foremost, people look to leaders for direction.
Even with direction, people must trust a leader. Trust is built on honesty and integrity. People want the truth from their leaders. Outrage from Watergate, the Monica Lewinsky affair, Enron, and many other public scandals were fueled less by the events than by the accused parties' cover-ups and lies. When Salomon Brothers covered up improper trading in an early-1990s scandal, it fueled the flight of a billion-dollars worth of customers as people lost trust in the organization. Warren Buffett rescued the company by using complete and total candor with Wall Street and regulators as a way of restoring trust. Far from being a disaster, telling the truth proved astonishingly effective in quickly restoring the company's integrity, with a minimum of fines.
Leaders must have integrity, establishing clear values and living those
values. One of my clients worked for a newly public company whose CEO
urged employees to hold their shares to keep investor confidence high.
He then sold several million-dollars' worth of his own shares. He responded
to his employees' feelings of betrayal saying, "It was just a small
percentage of my holdings." But that didn't matter! He contradicted
himself by selling shares while exhorting his employees to hold theirs.
It killed his leadership.
Interestingly, the key is having actions match values, more so than what
those values are. If one leader values quality and another values speed-to-market,
they will simply attract different people to their organizations. But
in either case, they must live their values consistently.
Consistency is another vital leadership element. When a leader changes direction with the market fad-of-the-day, or when his or her values shift according to the latest public opinion polls, people stop following. People want dependable leaders who provide a touchstone in times of change. You may ask: In a world of constant change, don't we need to shift and adapt? Of course. But you must choose a direction and values that stay stable even while adapting your tactics.
A software company once had a company vision, "We will produce the best ABC widget for DOS the world has every seen." It was a great vision statement, until Windows squashed the company out of existence. The software maker's vision was so narrow it couldn't adapt to change. A mission of, "We will solve the ABC problem for computers worldwide" would have been flexible enough to keep the vision while adapting to technological evolution.
Vision, integrity, consistency, and connection
create the leadership relationship.
Lastly, followers need to feel connected to their leaders. Leaders almost always connect through shared values; that's one reason followers leave when a leader doesn't live his or her values. Helping people feel they are part of something much greater—giving them a personal vision—is another strong tactic. For instance a leader in the healthcare industry may say, "You're not just joining our company, you're becoming part of transforming the world of healthcare." Recognizing and rewarding employee achievement helps cement the connection. On the other hand, taking credit for others' work is a powerful connection destroyer.
I was surprised by this framework's simplicity—direction, integrity, consistency, and connection. But its simplicity hides how difficult it is to pull off. It's difficult because these qualities can't be faked for long. Creating a direction is easy. Integrating it into every breath and decision is not. Choosing values is easy. Aligning behavior, decision making, policies, and organization around those values is not. Consistency is easy … until things don't go quite as planned. And connection is easy until things get busy and instinct tells us to stop all this fluffy foolishness and just get down to work.
Building the organization
Direction, integrity, consistency, and connection create the leadership relationship. That's a first step in building an organization, but it doesn't address the issue of how leaders make their organizations successful. History is littered with great leaders who didn't have a clue how to turn their leadership into an enduring business. Let me share some of the highlights:
• Focus, focus, focus. Know what the organization should be doing and ruthlessly say "no" to anything that would be a distraction.
• Play to individual strengths. Understand the abilities of everyone you hire and make sure their job plays to their strengths. Don't spend too much time developing weak areas. If someone can go from good-to-great in their strength, that's more valuable to the organization than taking someone from poor-to-acceptable. Build organizational competence by teaming up complementary skill sets. Ditto for yourself; know what you're good at and can do well, and spend most of your time doing that.
• Play to organizational strengths. Stick to what you're good at as a company, and get very good at it. If you're a great software company, opening a chain of high-end fashion clothing stores won't build a strong organization.
• You can train people for skills, but it's much harder to hire attitude. Most companies hire for specific job history or resume keywords, which is precisely the wrong way to go about it.
• Bring out the best in your people. Hire the best, give them a common direction, and let them do their job. You'll have a much stronger organization than if you make yourself too important. Remember: Every time you hire someone who isn't as smart as you, you lower the average IQ of the company.
My favorite books on building organizations are Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap... and Others Don't by Jim Collins (it also touches on the "Level 5" leadership character qualities that correlate with success), The Fifth Discipline Fieldbook: Strategies and Tools for Building a Learning Organizationby Peter Senge, with Bryan Smigh, Charlotte Roberts, Richard B. Ross, and First, Break All the Rules: What the World's Greatest Managers Do Differently, by Marcus Buckingham and Curt Coffman. All are research-based, easy to read, and have enough great material to keep you building organizations well into the next century.
Most of this column has concentrated on the "soft" skills. When it comes to leadership, I remember what the COO of a multibillion-dollar company once told me: "At the end of the day the financial and strategic issues are there but they are reducible largely by analytics...the people and process issues are not." If your goal is to become a successful business leader, your route will be smoother if you spend some time working on relationship skills and "softer" aspects of leading. Because at its heart, leadership is nothing more and nothing less than inspiring others to follow your dream and doing what it takes to make possible their success.
Stever Robbins, President of Leadership Decisionworks,
is a consultant and coach around power and influence, and defeating overwhelm.
He has appeared on cnn-fn, in the Wall Street Journal, and in Harvard
Business Review. You can reach him at: http://SteverRobbins.com
or by phone at 1-617-354-1446.
© Stever Robbins 2005 - All rights reserved!